WARNING: What follows ahead is a long emotional rant, again about men! You are free to skip it if you want to. And in case you choose to do so, rest assured that I will not come after you with my blood-thirsty axe!
. . .
Last few days I have been busy providing a “shoulder-to-cry-on” to a friend here. Why? Because of a man obviously! (Need you even ask?) Although I hate to call him a ‘man’ after what he did! Repeated “I love you”s for over a year… and in the end, a very masterful plan to break off… comprising of lies and scheming plots… carefully implemented over a span of 2-3 months. Heck! This guy even used his family in his devious game – his widowed mother and grandmother, and his poor sister in Delhi who has absolutely no idea of how his younger brother is playing with innocent unsuspecting girls!
The worst part in the whole setup was that the 2 of them were friends originally -- platonic friends for years! And HE was the one who proposed to take their relationship beyond friendship. Said he had ‘feelings’ for her! At a time when she was going through an especially bad phase in her life! He completely took advantage of her simplicity and faith in him as a friend, only to leave her more crushed than ever before!
I’m sure quite a few of my readers can relate to the kind of men... oops! *guys* I’m talking about here. In fact, some of you must be *exactly* like these guys! I don’t need to know whether you are or are not. So please don’t bother leaving any clarifications in your comments! All I want to say today is that guys like these are lower than the lowliest creatures inhabiting this planet! Their souls are almost dead… like Voldemort, if you need a comparison!
This particular fellow messed up the lives of 4 women, as we eventually discovered later on! But there are other even worse bastards! They keep on dating girl after girl after girl! With absolutely no qualms about how they may be messing up someone’s life! 20… 30… 40… even 100 unsuccessful relationships to their name! And they wear these numbers proudly, as feathers in their cap! And they truly believe they are some kind of super hero (“Alpha Male”) that they’ve managed to hook up with so many girls!
What an irrationally bloated ego!
In Mahabharata, Shishupal was spared 100 crimes by Lord Krishna… only because of his mother’s good Karma. He received this protection for 100 deathly sins only because his mother asked Krishna for this ‘blessing’. But the moment the 101st blasphemy came out of his mouth, Lord Krishna’s Sudarshan Chakra had taken off! So don’t ever fall into this false bubble of security that you’ll never have to face the consequences of your hideous acts! Remember: bubbles are meant to burst! You are not invincible.
And to be very candid with you… you guys think it’s some kind of achievement -- *tricking* unsuspecting girls, mostly from small town, who may not be feeling very confident about themselves or their lives at that particular moment, and luring them with your rotten sweet-talks and hints of empty promises! In reality, you are worse than the blushing teenager, who stammers as he approaches a girl with a rose in his hand! And if you really think you are so much of a Casanova… then I challenge you! Go and find yourself a completely self-confident girl-friend! Someone who’s life is running *perfectly* at the moment! Someone who’s in perfect health, who looks gorgeous, has a perfect career and a very supportive and intricate family-and-friends network too!
Haah! You wouldn’t dare approach girls like these! You don’t have enough balls! You’ll only approach the ones who have a broken family perhaps, or are going through some career problems at that time, or who’ve just come out of a bad relationship! Always remember: Only the very old tigers look for weak preys! The ones who are weak themselves! So never commit the mistake of believing that you deserve a pat on your back for screwing up the life of a girl who is not even aware of your disgusting rules of the game! Any guy, who has to lie to get himself laid (or even just to have some female company at his side!) is nothing more than a pathetic loser! His very manhood is questionable! (Remember that used-car salesman in “True Lies”?)
The guy my friend was involved with actually went as far ahead as to make wedding plans with her. In fact, she helped him set up his new flat here in Patna from scratch! Every single spoon, the curtains on the windows, the little bit of furniture he has currently – she helped him set it all up! He always behaved like she was already a part of his family! But then he was just “4-experiences” old, you know. Hence, he wasn’t that smart in his tactics! Guys with more experience always make sure you can never trap them with any promises of marriage on their part! They’ll always give even subtler hints of commitment to the girl, which will keep her from ending the relationship, but which they can easily refute later on as “misinterpretation” on the girl’s part! But such deliberate tricks don’t fool God up there you know, even if they might have managed to fool the girl for a few months/years!
Actually, to be very honest, I pity such guys! For they can never experience true love. Yes, I know a lot of you are going to comment that there is no such thing as “true love”… and I pity you too! Just because you haven’t seen/experienced something, it doesn’t mean that it never exists! Even dogs can’t see color, but that doesn’t mean colors don’t exist. And if you seriously believe true love doesn’t exist in real life, then you are really no better than a dog! But then we all already know this, don’t we… that “Men are Dogs”!
I wonder - how much bad karma a guy must have done in his past, that he gets real love in his life, only to push it away from him! Something special that God has blessed you with… and you refuse to accept it! Nothing can be more pitiable that THAT!
If this guy had remained steadfastly in my friend’s life… even if only as a platonic friend… her prayers would have helped him sail through his own life like an experienced fighter pilot! Just because she would have always believed that “he stood with her when she most needed support”! When you do an unselfish act of kindness for someone who’s in trouble, the fruits of that good Karma can take you from rags to riches! But now, after the way he has treated her, all he’s going to get is the wrath of a hurt female!
This is a Karmic payback period. All of us are balancing out our Karma in the current times. And guys like these… they not only attract the ill-wishes of the girl whose soul they’ve abused, they also attract the cumulative wrath of all the females on the planet!
Abusing a soul is much MUCH worse than any form of physical or sexual abuse. Breaking someone’s trust in you is the worst possible sin you can ever commit. Even a murder stands nowhere as compared to breaking someone’s trust in you. For in murder, you only stab the mortal body, but when you shatter someone’s trust, you stab his/her very soul!
And guys who abuse women like this… they can never ever be successful in their life. Not now. Not in this “payback” time! For now is the time Lord Krishna’s Sudarshan Chakra has taken off! It has been set in action! Anything you put your hands in now, any new venture you try, you’ll suffer major setbacks in it. You’ll encounter blocks and dead-ends at every step of the way. Financial crises of the likes you’ve never seen before, humiliation, loss of job, bad health/accidents, thefts and burglaries, controversies, sleepless nights, you name it!
You want to know if there is any way out of it -- only one. As Dumbledore tells Harry in book 7, the only way for Voldemort to repair the damage inflicted upon his own soul, by being so insensitive and merciless to other innocent souls, was REMORSE. Just like Voldemort, you too are living a cursed existence. You are less than living... less than whole. You might think right now that Harry Potter is just a Fairy Tale for little kids. But read between the lines. Try to get the real meaning of the entire plot. At the risk of sounding blasphemous, I’d go as far as to say that the Harry Potter series are no less than our great epics – Mahabharat & Ramayan – only written with a different background and in different times! (I know... if any of our Hindu religious preachers get to read this post ever, they’ll hang me for this! I don’t care!)
Coming back to the unscrupulous “players” of our male species… all you guys who have ever hurt even a single female in your life… ask for forgiveness – from ALL the females you have ever used and abused! Just like in that Hindi movie “Bachna Ae Haseeno”! Feel remorse for what you have done. Actually experience the hurt you have caused to these females. Be in their shoes. Feel their pain. You’ll squirm under your flesh when you see how horrible your soul looks now! In fact, I don’t have enough abusive words in my vocabulary to describe how ugly men like you are!
My friend will be fine. She’ll move on. If you honestly think that women, who are blessed with the strength to withstand labor pains, can fall apart at such minor hurts, then you totally underestimate them! Even most women underestimate themselves actually. My friend might not be able to trust another man for quite some time now… but she’ll get the good she deserves in life… in some other ways maybe! She played her part honestly and sincerely, she loved this man truly from her heart, with true sportsmanship spirit… and she will get the fruits of her good Karma. This is, after all, a Karmic clearance time.
Can’t say the same for this guy though! And he didn’t just use this girl (my friend)… he even used the other 3 females in his life to cover up his acts of shame, without their knowledge! I can’t even begin to imagine how this guy is going to end up, with Karma like that! On the one hand, I feel so angry at him… and yet, on the other, I can’t help but pray for him that “please God, have mercy on him, show him the Light… while there’s still hope of salvaging whatever’s left of his soul!”
Why am I getting so worked up about someone else’s life? Because I have also encountered such losers in my life! And I know, quite a few of my female readers have also been unfortunate to fall into the carefully laid-out traps of such men. I don’t need any words of sympathy right now… or even advice! Neither do any of those other females who have been abused, maybe not sexually, but mentally, emotionally AND spiritually! We are not responsible for how anyone else chooses to spend their life! To each, his/her own Karma. Period.
I write about it here because writing is what I do best, along with fixing broken computers of course, and even programming now! Writing is the only way I’m able to give vent to my pent-up feelings, so that they don’t remain bottled-up inside me. Am I expecting or hoping for anyone to change his ways after reading this post? Not really. But Lord Krishna did give one last chance to the Kauravas before the final battle of Mahabharat began. I’m not starting any battle or war here either. Frankly, I don’t have time for such losers! Just wanted to get this off my chest… and that’s what I’m doing.
Just be clear about one thing guys… there are all sorts of girls in this world, just like there are all sorts of guys. There are girls who believe in fidelity and commitment, who believe in monogamous relationships. Steer clear of them if that’s not how YOU perceive YOUR relationships. Find someone your own size. Find yourself a girl who plays YOUR game.
And remember: most girls (Indians at least!) still expect marriage at the end of a “formal proposal”. In other words, when you tell a girl, in those many words, that you “have developed feelings” for her, and that you “love” her, you both know it will be interpreted as “you want to marry her… maybe not immediately, but eventually.” So don’t start such a relationship with such a girl if you have no intention of following it through. Girls make it very clear, right at the beginning of an acquaintance, as to what category they fall in… whether they are the “open relationship” type or not. Don’t deliberately screw up someone’s life when you know they are not that type!
And yes, platonic relationships ARE possible. I have 99 friends on FaceBook… and I think more than 60% of them are males… and I have very beautiful “platonic” relationships with each one of them! For those of you who are not sure of the meaning of the word (yes, I have encountered such guys too!), “platonic” simply means “free from physical desires”... which means that you CAN love a person without any kind of physical intimacy creeping in the relationship. You can even share the same bed… sleep right next to each other… and yet keep your relationship free from any complications. Hope it’s clear now.
Oh and I know some of you are going to point out in your comments that "there are females also who act all bitchy and use men like this!" I completely agree with you. But this is a girl's blog. If you want to talk about such females, please feel free to do so on your own blog. This post is out-and-out a post on men!
Lastly, I thank you all for reading this immensely long and heavy post… those of you who have managed to make it so far! I salute your patience, and I don’t want you to spoil your day by carrying sticky residues of anger and hurt from this page. So I’ll end this post on a lighter note… male bashing of course, but, in a lighter vein!
They (the men obviously!) say that women are complex and difficult to understand! Read what Phoenix has to say about men’s vagueness and complexities in her “Public Diary!”
Repeating some lines from my old post again –
Never say “I love you”, if you don’t care.
Never talk about feelings if they aren’t really there.
Never touch a life, if you mean to break a heart.
Never say you will, if you don’t plan to start.
Never look in the eye…
When all you do is lie…
Thankfully, I have come across more good guys in my life than such ugly ones. And I really respect them a lot more now… for they too had a choice, and they chose the path of honesty and sensitivity. In fact, had it not been for these “good” guys, I might have long ago changed my sexual orientation! But as things are right now, I’m still straight! [Keeping fingers crossed though!]
P.S. This post is dedicated to all my male friends who never deceived me, who stood by me whenever I needed them. I love you all and I wish from the bottom of my heart today, that all your most beautiful dreams come true! Loads of hugs…
Note: As pointed out by Shobhit's comments below, I apologize to all dogs and bitches of the world for having compared them with such foul and lifeless creatures as described above. I can't think of a correct replacement right now... so kindly substitute all occurrences of these marvelous animals in the post with something really REALLY disgusting! Thanks.
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